Moving in with Inspire Estate Agents is like starring in your own DIY survival show — except no one gave you the tools, the set is filthy, and the producers stop answering your calls after the first episode. When I collected my keys in January, I was greeted with: A kitchen that could have doubled as a grease museum (bonus: the tops of the fridge and cabinets had their own ecosystem). No heating for the first week — great for a January detox, not so great for actually living. A tenancy agreement unsigned by the landlord, and safety documents that magically appeared… only after a Section 21 eviction notice landed in my inbox. The highlight? Three months of water pouring through a live ceiling light every time I used the taps. It’s like Russian roulette, but with electricity. Meanwhile, two kitchen drawers were broken and unusable for over 4 months, and the bathroom sink took 3 months to fix. Their idea of compensation? £200. I spent more than that on gym showers and therapy biscuits. If you like danger, neglect, and playing “Guess if the rental line will answer” (spoiler: it won’t), then Inspire is the agency for you. For the rest of us — I’d recommend an actual emergency contact line, basic tenant respect, and maybe cleaning the fridge tops before moving day.